This is why you will never be great at a Threesome
Forget about mainstream porn and cheesy stories about threesomes where people just look at each other and get the sudden urge to get naked and go at it every time they see each other. In real life, none of that works.
Threesomes don't just happen in an instant nor are they enjoyable experiences when planned for ages. You as an Iconic man need to find that thin line in between, to fully enjoy your experience. And, of course, be willing to compromise if things don’t follow the exact scenario you have been plotting in your fantasies.
We all thought about threesomes at one time or another. They are quite the performer in all surveys regarding sexual fantasies. That means that they are never lower than top-five and almost always the most common male fantasies. That doesn’t mean women don’t think about it. Studies have found that it is usually women that initiate threesomes as oppose to men that usually initiate threesome conversations.
We don’t know just how much the porn industry has shifted this fantasy higher up on the list of our preferences but we do know it is nothing new. People having sex with more than one partner is a reality that is older than ancient Greece.
What keeps it going is the fact that many people prefer to just stick to imagining it. As with all sexual fantasies, communication is key. A lot more people talk about and start planning threesome than the ones that engage in it. But communication is less about sharing the idea and more about understanding what your partner wants. And if you are on the same page, well the more the merrier.
But what happens when you talked about it a while ago, nothing happened and then all of a sudden the opportunity presents itself? Because that is one very common real-life scenario when it comes to threesomes.
The unscripted version
A while back I talked to this couple that was about to go to Sweden for a conference organized by the Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs. They were pretty enthusiastic about it as neither of them had been to Sweden before, and seeing that it was a state-sponsored event they would be there for about a week. The invite was courtesy of their friend, Tyra who was working in Sweden as a cultural attaché. I saw John and Donna again when they got back and apparently their trip was very nice indeed. It seems that with all the conferences and visiting going on they had quite a lot of fun.
Each night they would wander the streets and pubs, and then come back to the Embassy to watch stand up comedy specials and have some beers. As Tyra had a studio inside the Embassy, and Donna and Tyra hadn’t seen each other in ages, they all stayed together. Then one night Donna went to bed after a very long night. She was tired and went to the bed that was just feet away behind the sofa. John and Tyra were left alone watching Bill Burr. They made fun of the fact that Tyra hadn’t had sex in over two months since her job took up way too much time for her to meet somebody and she couldn’t bring anyone into the embassy to begin with. It was a common joke among the three for the first couple of days after they arrived.
As things turned out Tyra and Donna had joked about a threesome too, talking about their previous experimenting while sharing a flat on campus. So when John went into the kitchen to make a call back home and grab a bottle of water he came back to find Tyra in bed waking up Donna by giving her a massage. They then proceeded in having the quietest threesome in the history of sex, and surely the most intense, sustained and quirkiest ever recorded by the secret service. Apparently, you should at least try not to wake people up in an Embassy. It counts as good etiquette.
They are still together and have caught up with Tyra a couple of times since she too got back from Stockholm but it remained a one time deal.
John and Donna are a pretty open-minded couple and did talk about a threesome but never revisited the idea before going to Stockholm. None of it was planned and it was just a mood-based event spurned by some random sex jokes and a long-time friendship between the two women.
And that is just it. Unlike your poker night threesomes are a hard thing to put in motion. Getting the mood right and getting everyone on board is seriously hard. And in case you were wondering, sharing an escort with your best friend on a bachelor’s party, or when in Vegas doesn’t count. Ok, maybe it does but you can do better.
If you are to follow up on your fantasies about a threesome is best to follow the not-to-do list and let things happen, instead of going for tips that can artificially create the mood you need. Remember that there are three parties involved, each with their own expectations and needs. Going rogue is not an option here. Getting jealous is even worst.
1. Don’t talk too much about it.
If you overplay something chances are it will never happen. Like a good joke that you can ruin by adding too much detail and making people expect a bigger ending that they are in for. Going on and on to your partner about your fantasies will only make her not wanna go through with it.
You are a man. You hint, you reference, you lead. The one thing you do not do is appear desperate. If you want it too much, it will not happen.
2. Listen to the body language
Women tend to let us know a lot of things if we pay enough attention. From the way they act when listening to us, to the way they they interact with other people. If you want to correctly assess your chances at a threesome you best learn your partners signs and use them to correctly understand the kind of situation she would be comfortable in. Take her words at face value but don’t get stuck thinking that she would never do it. There is a time and a place for everything. In a relationship, people evolve together.
3. Plan less
If the threesome of your dreams is about to happen in a few days or hours, don’t start planning every position and minute of it. It is a quintessential mistake that will stop you from enjoying the beauty of this one event. In fact, there is nothing that will disappoint you more.
A threesome will never be a porn movie. Don’t focus on filming and directing it. Carpets will slide, the bed will bang against the wall. Things are going to get sweaty and you will be in there trying to rush things into your favorite position, just so you can check all the entries on your fantasies list. Live a little and let things be. There will be other times.
Threesomes take some delicate fine-tuning to put in place. It is often hard for men to possess such intricate balancing skills, but that doesn’t mean you should lose hope. Our advice is to be sure you want to do it in the first place and deal with every possible outcome, communicate with your partner and the other person involved and never lose patience. Neither before, nor after.
Threesomes don't just happen in an instant nor are they enjoyable experiences when planned for ages. You as an Iconic man need to find that thin line in between, to fully enjoy your experience. And, of course, be willing to compromise if things don’t follow the exact scenario you have been plotting in your fantasies.
We all thought about threesomes at one time or another. They are quite the performer in all surveys regarding sexual fantasies. That means that they are never lower than top-five and almost always the most common male fantasies. That doesn’t mean women don’t think about it. Studies have found that it is usually women that initiate threesomes as oppose to men that usually initiate threesome conversations.
We don’t know just how much the porn industry has shifted this fantasy higher up on the list of our preferences but we do know it is nothing new. People having sex with more than one partner is a reality that is older than ancient Greece.
What keeps it going is the fact that many people prefer to just stick to imagining it. As with all sexual fantasies, communication is key. A lot more people talk about and start planning threesome than the ones that engage in it. But communication is less about sharing the idea and more about understanding what your partner wants. And if you are on the same page, well the more the merrier.
But what happens when you talked about it a while ago, nothing happened and then all of a sudden the opportunity presents itself? Because that is one very common real-life scenario when it comes to threesomes.
The unscripted version
A while back I talked to this couple that was about to go to Sweden for a conference organized by the Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs. They were pretty enthusiastic about it as neither of them had been to Sweden before, and seeing that it was a state-sponsored event they would be there for about a week. The invite was courtesy of their friend, Tyra who was working in Sweden as a cultural attaché. I saw John and Donna again when they got back and apparently their trip was very nice indeed. It seems that with all the conferences and visiting going on they had quite a lot of fun.
Each night they would wander the streets and pubs, and then come back to the Embassy to watch stand up comedy specials and have some beers. As Tyra had a studio inside the Embassy, and Donna and Tyra hadn’t seen each other in ages, they all stayed together. Then one night Donna went to bed after a very long night. She was tired and went to the bed that was just feet away behind the sofa. John and Tyra were left alone watching Bill Burr. They made fun of the fact that Tyra hadn’t had sex in over two months since her job took up way too much time for her to meet somebody and she couldn’t bring anyone into the embassy to begin with. It was a common joke among the three for the first couple of days after they arrived.
As things turned out Tyra and Donna had joked about a threesome too, talking about their previous experimenting while sharing a flat on campus. So when John went into the kitchen to make a call back home and grab a bottle of water he came back to find Tyra in bed waking up Donna by giving her a massage. They then proceeded in having the quietest threesome in the history of sex, and surely the most intense, sustained and quirkiest ever recorded by the secret service. Apparently, you should at least try not to wake people up in an Embassy. It counts as good etiquette.
They are still together and have caught up with Tyra a couple of times since she too got back from Stockholm but it remained a one time deal.
John and Donna are a pretty open-minded couple and did talk about a threesome but never revisited the idea before going to Stockholm. None of it was planned and it was just a mood-based event spurned by some random sex jokes and a long-time friendship between the two women.
And that is just it. Unlike your poker night threesomes are a hard thing to put in motion. Getting the mood right and getting everyone on board is seriously hard. And in case you were wondering, sharing an escort with your best friend on a bachelor’s party, or when in Vegas doesn’t count. Ok, maybe it does but you can do better.
It takes three to threesome
If you are to follow up on your fantasies about a threesome is best to follow the not-to-do list and let things happen, instead of going for tips that can artificially create the mood you need. Remember that there are three parties involved, each with their own expectations and needs. Going rogue is not an option here. Getting jealous is even worst.
1. Don’t talk too much about it.
If you overplay something chances are it will never happen. Like a good joke that you can ruin by adding too much detail and making people expect a bigger ending that they are in for. Going on and on to your partner about your fantasies will only make her not wanna go through with it.
You are a man. You hint, you reference, you lead. The one thing you do not do is appear desperate. If you want it too much, it will not happen.
2. Listen to the body language
Women tend to let us know a lot of things if we pay enough attention. From the way they act when listening to us, to the way they they interact with other people. If you want to correctly assess your chances at a threesome you best learn your partners signs and use them to correctly understand the kind of situation she would be comfortable in. Take her words at face value but don’t get stuck thinking that she would never do it. There is a time and a place for everything. In a relationship, people evolve together.
3. Plan less
If the threesome of your dreams is about to happen in a few days or hours, don’t start planning every position and minute of it. It is a quintessential mistake that will stop you from enjoying the beauty of this one event. In fact, there is nothing that will disappoint you more.
A threesome will never be a porn movie. Don’t focus on filming and directing it. Carpets will slide, the bed will bang against the wall. Things are going to get sweaty and you will be in there trying to rush things into your favorite position, just so you can check all the entries on your fantasies list. Live a little and let things be. There will be other times.
Threesomes take some delicate fine-tuning to put in place. It is often hard for men to possess such intricate balancing skills, but that doesn’t mean you should lose hope. Our advice is to be sure you want to do it in the first place and deal with every possible outcome, communicate with your partner and the other person involved and never lose patience. Neither before, nor after.
user rating :
4.90 stars (185 votes)
Loves to play with new ideas, binge writing, traveling and gourmet coffee. Professional writer of non fiction with over 8 years experience in putting words to paper. Fan of iconic movies, sports, The Arctic Monkeys and city breaks. Yes, he knows how good his coffee is.