Be amazing in Bed. The essential guide to unlocking the secrets of great sex
You don’t need to have the looks or the measures of a porn star to be amazing in bed and leave women always craving for more. Still, this doesn’t make amazing sex an easy target to hit. The scenario of the ideal sexual act differs greatly with each person and in order to satisfy multiple partners, you will need to constantly adapt your strategies.
An equilibrium between comfort and passion would create magic every time you get into bed with somebody. But keeping the balance between those two is quite a challenge.
How to make her relax in your presence while still giving her goose bumps? How to let your inner animal break free and still maintain your self-consciousness so as to control the sexual interaction? How to be both tender and rough at the same time?
Luckily, you now have a list of advice that most experts in the field agree upon. Keep in mind though that theory will improve your performance, but only practice will eventually make you amazing in bed!
To be amazing in bed before and after are equally important
Mastering the art of foreplay is almost a synonym of mastering the art of sex. Giving importance to afterplay will also ensure you will be able to repeat the experience if you feel like.
Foreplay means everything you do before intercourse with the purpose of sexually arousing your partner. If done well it creates a sexual tension that demands to be released and tortures with anticipation the girl you are targeting. She is wet, your touches make her shiver, she desires your closeness, she is ready to move forward to the sexual act.
Foreplay starts way before sex, with mental stimulation. If you date a woman and you plan to finish the night at your place, you can start signalling your intentions indirectly, during the conversation. The goal is to make her feel sexy and desired, but also to give her the context to formulate her own wishes.
Just before arriving in bed, physical foreplay has a huge role to enhance the quality of the sex. There is no rule about how long this phase should last, but to have an idea, 10 minutes or more would be a safe bet.
Just the same, after you had the amazing experience of sexual interaction, no matter how tired you are, never skip the cuddling part. With all the tension released and with the feeling of satisfaction still present, your partner is expecting now to enjoy some relaxed moments with you.
Don’t start until she is ready
Even if you already had foreplay of half an hour, if you don’t feel your partner is ready for sex, do not go further. It would be the easiest way to a bitter memory for both of you and maybe your last date with her.
Be aware of her body language, notice if she is aroused or not, listen to what she is saying and only when all the signs indicate she wants you, then initiate the intercourse.
If she doesn’t seem ready, there is no tragedy, don’t be discouraged. A good idea is to postpone the sexual act for a while. Suggest, for example, that you two share a glass of wine and see what happens.
Make her unusual compliments and be honest about them
Compliments, especially if they are not the common ones, can give a boost of self-confidence to anybody. They will make a woman feel sexy, desired, and as a result less self-conscious.
To give you an example, saying “You have beautiful eyes” is a common compliment that will not have much of an effect. On the other hand, going for “I love your delicate little fingers” will maybe make the woman giggle, and she’ll be enjoying the fact that you are paying attention to her.
If you feel confident enough, you can also make remarks that both praise and tease, but be careful with them, you don’t want them to sound too rude.
Compliments may refer to anything, not only physical aspects. You can compliment her voice, her intelligence, her style, anything that attracts you.
Avoid waiting to have the condom conversation until it’s time for sex
No matter what your position on condoms is, if you feel comfortable enough to not use them with a certain woman, make sure you know beforehand if your opinion is shared.
One of the most awkward conversations you can have if you are about to have sex, is an argument on the use of condoms. As a general rule, if you are not in long term relationship or you don’t know your partner well enough (this means really well!), protecting yourself is a must.
Kiss her everywhere
To be amazing in bed you need to make the other person feel amazing. A woman will positively assess your presence, your skills and your sexual vibe if you succeed to give her an experience worth to remember. By being limitless in offering her pleasure you create the proper context of a mutual desire to please each other.
Show her there are no barriers between the two of you, that she is not just a sexual object, that you want her completely. This starts with the body; with the way you touch her and kiss her. Kissing her non-erogenous parts of the body will boost the intimacy between you two and will make her feel that with you, it is more than average sex.
Don’t be afraid to focus on your pleasure
In addition to being generous in offering pleasure, you should also be a good receiver. Sounds easy, who isn’t happy when he is given things? But actually this is a habit that a lot of man can’t handle, and diminishing it will affect the overall quality of sex.
For a lot of women, the feeling that what they do is pleasing and satisfying for their partner is a huge turn on. Sometimes they wouldn’t take the initiative, because as desires are so diverse, the fear of doing the inappropriate thing, may also inhibit spontaneity. You can go a step further and suggest what would turn you on, what would satisfy your most weird fantasies. Even if that specific activity doesn’t look like fun for the woman you are having sex with, this doesn’t mean she is not enjoying it, just because you enjoy it.
Make sure you show your satisfaction explicitly and tell her how good she is at what she is doing and how wonderful that experience is for you.
Look for feedback
Even when things get really hot and intense, don’t forget to have an open eye to receive the feedback she is giving to you. Some of what you do might turn off the sexual mood of somebody without you even noticing. And it’s a small step away from a disastrous ending. Verbal communication can be difficult in such moments, but feedback is inevitably always present through body language. Stating the obvious, if she suddenly becomes dry, certainly something is going wrong.
Also, her feedback is important to see if you can treat things a little more roughly and how much you can push in that direction. Too much sweetness and tenderness can be a lousy experience for some women, so if she doesn’t seem to be very horny with your good guy approach, try to switch the style a little bit.
Explore new approaches
No matter how amazing you consider yourself in bed, it is never a bad idea to bring something new to the table when you get intimate with a woman. This advice is especially important if you already have a history with your sex partner.
You can show your passion by choosing uncommon places to have sex. The bed is comfortable, but the kitchen table should be given a try once in a while. If you are a little bit of an exhibitionist, you can try a public place and add the adrenaline of not being caught into the sexual recipe. The possibilities are endless: new positions, sexual toys, role plays and maybe even threesomes or swing if this works for you.
But even if you are the more traditional type and the previous list above sounded like way too much, you can create variation by getting out of the foreplay – intercourse basic scheme. Sometimes you can go for a quicky, other times get relaxed with a long massage session or just explore with your fingers and tongue various erogenous zones of the body.
Try to give her an orgasm
The orgasm is seen as the ultimate proof that sex was amazing. And there are good reasons for this. It is certainly the peak of the sexual interaction and a moment everybody is looking for. Still, not having an orgasm is not a tragedy. It is not a sign you were not good enough and not an indicator that she didn’t enjoy what happened.
While trying to give her an orgasm, be aware that most women just experience clitoridean climax. This means that intercourse alone, which while can be highly satisfying, will usually not do the trick. So you will need to use other approaches as well and be patient.
In this regard, maybe the most important and less cared for information is that if you insist on your desire to see her orgasm you will only create pressure that will bring her further away from it. Instead of enjoying and relaxing, she might occupy her mind with the thought that she must have an orgasm in order to assure you that it was amazing. And then everything becomes less amazing.
All in all, everybody can be amazing in bed and enjoy a fulfilling sexual life. Be sure to give everything you can, without reserves or inhibitions, and your partner will take care of the rest.