15 Online Dating App Tips - Why Girls Don't Answer You? Fix What You Are Doing Wrong NOW!
Online dating is seen as an online version of survival of the fittest, or a Battle Royal game mode for men. Hundreds of millions of people play it every day, all around the world.
But the reality is that online dating is more about the survival of the wittiest.
Because as in any game, you must use all kinds of strategies to make sure you have an edge on your opponents. And the competition is going to be a lot more diverse and unexpected than you think.
Before you start thinking that you don't even like online dating that much and that everything would be better if things were not so complicated, think about this an opportunity.
You are lucky to live in an age when you can socialize with thousands of people in your immediate vicinity. All you need is a positive atitude, decent communication skills and a bit of preparation. And that is why we are here today. Use these online dating app tips to get girls to engage and reply to your messages.
But how do you get all those girls to talk to you on your typical dating app? What are the tips that can help you transform your game, get more replies, and more dates?
Find out the answers to these questions and maximize your chances of getting any woman to text you back.
You need to learn how to optimize for success and quit all your bad dating platform habits.
1. Start over
If you have an online dating account and you feel that you need improvement, just use common sense. Delete it, and start from scratch. It will improve your chances at a match, and at impressing women. People will be more willing to respond to your messages if you have a fresh and optimized account. Nobody wants to see the sad songs you listened to five years ago or that picture that you took in Majorca in 2014. Most algorithms that dating apps use will shadowban you after long periods of inactivity. So reactivating old profiles is a lot worse than making new ones.
2. Prepare in advance
To get better engagement and make people answer your messages, pay extra attention to your description. Having no description at all, or too much of it will get you too many left swipes. Have enough words to make people want to read them. The first thing all women will do after they receive your message is to check out your profile. Having an uncertain profile will ensure they don’t get to your second picture, let alone a message back.
The golden description rule is to always tell people what you want, not what you don’t. A perfect description will have 0 negations in it.
3. Stand out
Standing out does not mean mentioning that you like to travel, uploading vacation pictures, or photos of you next to your car. We’re not saying that they will kill your chances, at ever getting a message back, but they will not help either. They will simply relegate you to mediocrity and fewer dates than you deserve. Image is two-thirds of the battle.
Go for fun, laid back yet active instances, with good natural light and with few or no filters. Throw in some social instances. Something to make you look like a spontaneous, outgoing guy and not like all the other weirdos that write to her every day.
4. Be optimistic
There is no excuse not to be positive when interacting with people on dating platforms. Think about it. Everybody is there to have fun and meet people. Especially the people that specifically mention in their profile that they are just looking, or that they set up their profile out of curiosity.
If you want women to like your profile and messages, remember to keep a good vibe and be positive.
5. Don’t "Hi" her
There is a special place in hell for you if your first message is "Hi" or "Hello" followed by absolutely nothing. Those "openers" are reserved for men who are hiding the fact that they don’t want a date. As a matter of fact, you should remove solitary hellos from your online dating vocabulary altogether. And with it all those lines that have barely worked so far. Start afresh.
To make girls interested in answering you, the first step is to check out their profiles. And then personalize your message. Let’s take an easy example. If you match with a girl that likes kite surfing, mention something original about that in your opener.
Lines to avoid: "Nice! You are into kite surfing! How cool is that!"
Lines to go for: "Hi Amanda. We’ve just apprehended this guy that was about to lie that he too is into kite surfing. What would you want us to do with him?
6. Use her name
If you include a person's name into any form of conversation you set up the groundwork for an emotional connection. Unless you are a repo guy or somebody that serves subpoenas, that almost always works. And it works on dating apps too. That momentary emotional bond will increase your chances to make her feel pleasant and warmhearted with a touch of importance.
If the rest of the line is good enough she will definitely give your profile a look, and if you have checked all the previous boxes you are in. Getting a response after using her name, will immediately erase all barriers and let your conversation advance.
7. Message her in the evening
Numbers that are not money may sound boring. But cold hard statistics are here to improve your game. The number one rookie mistake you can make is messaging at the wrong time. Multiple online studies about communication apps, in general, have revealed that people tend to be more active on dating apps between 5 pm and midnight. If you think that is a pretty large window of opportunity, you are both right and wrong. Statistically speaking your best shot is between 7 and 10 pm, but time will not directly affect your chances of women writing you back. However, knowing when to message will increase your chances, and help not waste precious time.
8. The age of miracles
Because you now live in 2019 and marketing is the be-all-end-all king of business, you must learn to differentiate between what women of a certain age want, and what they expect from a man. Like men, women of different ages tend to have different outlooks on dating.
You need to know how to adapt your game on the go. You can’t send a GIF opener to a 36-year-old and expect it to have the same result as sending it to a 23-year-old. As a side note, GIF openers are a very good idea. But only when first personalized and targeted. Taking one and sending it randomly to a lot of women will just get your account shadow banned.
9. Details are power
Nothing will impress her more in a message that attention to detail. Think of it this way. There is a reason she picked those particular pictures. Even if all her uploads are selfies, there is always something there that she expects people to notice. 9 out of 10 guys will never notice it. But you are not 9 out of 10 guys. You need to find that detail and ask her about it.
It could be a brand, a special background, a style choice or a place where a movie was shot. Just know that it is something special enough to represent her. And that it will not be the most obvious thing. Do the research and reap the rewards. It makes for the best conversation topics ever and it shows you invested time and enthusiasm.
10. Let her know stuff about you
Try not to be the guy that ruins a conversation by asking too many short questions. This is not an interview. Women like to talk but they also like to know stuff about the guy they are talking too. Turning your conversation into a one-sided affair will make you look like an immigration officer interviewing green card applicants. And that is not the most common female fantasy. Make sure you give her enough details to keep her interested and replying. Also, try to convey that information in as funny a way as possible. Women love a man with a good sense of humor. Be careful not to go overboard. There is such a thing as too much info in the first few lines. Letting somebody know about how much she looks like your high school crush is considered too much info.
11. Keep things light
When getting into a conversation with your dating app match do your best to avoid this capital sin. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Remember the dating game is just a game. And as in any game, people can change scenarios or leave at any point. If you plan on convincing girls to keep writing to you don’t get too serious about it. You will come off as boring, at best. Treat conversation lightly as you would do when meeting a group of friends. Don’t panic if she doesn’t reply right away, and don't write more than two replies after her last line. Chances are she is busy and can’t answer right away, and you will just be embarrassing yourself. Allow you and others to have fun, and your online dating experiences will keep getting better and better.
12. Send quality messages
This is a no-brainer, but people often tend to mess it up.
The quality message is not you telling her your opinions about the way Stephen Hawking influences physics. You need to look at quality from a delivery point of view. Regardless of the topic, formulate short and thoughtful messages. Ideally, you should keep them to a maximum of 20 words. And make sure that you at least attempt to spellcheck. It may not matter to you, but it might matter to her.
Ruining a perfectly good conversation because of sloppy writing is awful. Also, don’t expect an answer from all the people you send messages to. That will never happen, no matter how good the message is. Some people may not even visit their online profiles anymore.
13. Be interested
One area where you can never go wrong is showing that you are interested. And I do mean, showing. It’s not important how interested you are if you can’t make her feel that. As a strategy, your best bet will be to keep the conversation going and then address something she said at the beginning. Preferably with a funny remark that ties it in with your current topic. It will show that you are not only considerate and witty but also interested in more than her looks. Try to do the same when it comes to her hobbies and interests and you can be on your way to the first date.
14. Make a good selection
Don’t just write to everybody. It may seem like a good idea, but online dating is not like shooting fish in a barrel. You can’t expect to get replies from all the girls you write too. Trust me, you wouldn’t want that. Know your audience and address it. You are better off writing 10 good personalized messages to people you would actually want to have a date with. Even the best online dating tips will not be able to help you if you don't know what you want.
15. Don’t expect her to be like your ex
When it comes to dating apps you need to keep a clear mind. As I said people are diverse and that includes character traits. Your expectations can make or break your interaction with the girl you find yourself attracted to. And there is nothing you can do about that. What you can do, is not to compare any girl you like to one of your ex-girlfriends. No two people will think, act, and interact in the same way. And that includes the way they answer to online messages.
The world of online dating is all about fun and practicality. And that is why you need to waste as little time as possible on waiting for answers that will never come. Instead, use these tips to upgrade your game to the next level.
And don't forget to enjoy the wonderful world of dating for what it is, and not for what you wish it was.
But the reality is that online dating is more about the survival of the wittiest.
Because as in any game, you must use all kinds of strategies to make sure you have an edge on your opponents. And the competition is going to be a lot more diverse and unexpected than you think.
Before you start thinking that you don't even like online dating that much and that everything would be better if things were not so complicated, think about this an opportunity.
You are lucky to live in an age when you can socialize with thousands of people in your immediate vicinity. All you need is a positive atitude, decent communication skills and a bit of preparation. And that is why we are here today. Use these online dating app tips to get girls to engage and reply to your messages.
But how do you get all those girls to talk to you on your typical dating app? What are the tips that can help you transform your game, get more replies, and more dates?
Find out the answers to these questions and maximize your chances of getting any woman to text you back.
You need to learn how to optimize for success and quit all your bad dating platform habits.
Top 15 online dating app tips
1. Start over
If you have an online dating account and you feel that you need improvement, just use common sense. Delete it, and start from scratch. It will improve your chances at a match, and at impressing women. People will be more willing to respond to your messages if you have a fresh and optimized account. Nobody wants to see the sad songs you listened to five years ago or that picture that you took in Majorca in 2014. Most algorithms that dating apps use will shadowban you after long periods of inactivity. So reactivating old profiles is a lot worse than making new ones.
2. Prepare in advance
To get better engagement and make people answer your messages, pay extra attention to your description. Having no description at all, or too much of it will get you too many left swipes. Have enough words to make people want to read them. The first thing all women will do after they receive your message is to check out your profile. Having an uncertain profile will ensure they don’t get to your second picture, let alone a message back.
The golden description rule is to always tell people what you want, not what you don’t. A perfect description will have 0 negations in it.
3. Stand out
Standing out does not mean mentioning that you like to travel, uploading vacation pictures, or photos of you next to your car. We’re not saying that they will kill your chances, at ever getting a message back, but they will not help either. They will simply relegate you to mediocrity and fewer dates than you deserve. Image is two-thirds of the battle.
Go for fun, laid back yet active instances, with good natural light and with few or no filters. Throw in some social instances. Something to make you look like a spontaneous, outgoing guy and not like all the other weirdos that write to her every day.
4. Be optimistic
There is no excuse not to be positive when interacting with people on dating platforms. Think about it. Everybody is there to have fun and meet people. Especially the people that specifically mention in their profile that they are just looking, or that they set up their profile out of curiosity.
If you want women to like your profile and messages, remember to keep a good vibe and be positive.
5. Don’t "Hi" her
There is a special place in hell for you if your first message is "Hi" or "Hello" followed by absolutely nothing. Those "openers" are reserved for men who are hiding the fact that they don’t want a date. As a matter of fact, you should remove solitary hellos from your online dating vocabulary altogether. And with it all those lines that have barely worked so far. Start afresh.
To make girls interested in answering you, the first step is to check out their profiles. And then personalize your message. Let’s take an easy example. If you match with a girl that likes kite surfing, mention something original about that in your opener.
Lines to avoid: "Nice! You are into kite surfing! How cool is that!"
Lines to go for: "Hi Amanda. We’ve just apprehended this guy that was about to lie that he too is into kite surfing. What would you want us to do with him?
6. Use her name
If you include a person's name into any form of conversation you set up the groundwork for an emotional connection. Unless you are a repo guy or somebody that serves subpoenas, that almost always works. And it works on dating apps too. That momentary emotional bond will increase your chances to make her feel pleasant and warmhearted with a touch of importance.
If the rest of the line is good enough she will definitely give your profile a look, and if you have checked all the previous boxes you are in. Getting a response after using her name, will immediately erase all barriers and let your conversation advance.
7. Message her in the evening
Numbers that are not money may sound boring. But cold hard statistics are here to improve your game. The number one rookie mistake you can make is messaging at the wrong time. Multiple online studies about communication apps, in general, have revealed that people tend to be more active on dating apps between 5 pm and midnight. If you think that is a pretty large window of opportunity, you are both right and wrong. Statistically speaking your best shot is between 7 and 10 pm, but time will not directly affect your chances of women writing you back. However, knowing when to message will increase your chances, and help not waste precious time.
8. The age of miracles
Because you now live in 2019 and marketing is the be-all-end-all king of business, you must learn to differentiate between what women of a certain age want, and what they expect from a man. Like men, women of different ages tend to have different outlooks on dating.
You need to know how to adapt your game on the go. You can’t send a GIF opener to a 36-year-old and expect it to have the same result as sending it to a 23-year-old. As a side note, GIF openers are a very good idea. But only when first personalized and targeted. Taking one and sending it randomly to a lot of women will just get your account shadow banned.
9. Details are power
Nothing will impress her more in a message that attention to detail. Think of it this way. There is a reason she picked those particular pictures. Even if all her uploads are selfies, there is always something there that she expects people to notice. 9 out of 10 guys will never notice it. But you are not 9 out of 10 guys. You need to find that detail and ask her about it.
It could be a brand, a special background, a style choice or a place where a movie was shot. Just know that it is something special enough to represent her. And that it will not be the most obvious thing. Do the research and reap the rewards. It makes for the best conversation topics ever and it shows you invested time and enthusiasm.
10. Let her know stuff about you
Try not to be the guy that ruins a conversation by asking too many short questions. This is not an interview. Women like to talk but they also like to know stuff about the guy they are talking too. Turning your conversation into a one-sided affair will make you look like an immigration officer interviewing green card applicants. And that is not the most common female fantasy. Make sure you give her enough details to keep her interested and replying. Also, try to convey that information in as funny a way as possible. Women love a man with a good sense of humor. Be careful not to go overboard. There is such a thing as too much info in the first few lines. Letting somebody know about how much she looks like your high school crush is considered too much info.
11. Keep things light
When getting into a conversation with your dating app match do your best to avoid this capital sin. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Remember the dating game is just a game. And as in any game, people can change scenarios or leave at any point. If you plan on convincing girls to keep writing to you don’t get too serious about it. You will come off as boring, at best. Treat conversation lightly as you would do when meeting a group of friends. Don’t panic if she doesn’t reply right away, and don't write more than two replies after her last line. Chances are she is busy and can’t answer right away, and you will just be embarrassing yourself. Allow you and others to have fun, and your online dating experiences will keep getting better and better.
12. Send quality messages
This is a no-brainer, but people often tend to mess it up.
The quality message is not you telling her your opinions about the way Stephen Hawking influences physics. You need to look at quality from a delivery point of view. Regardless of the topic, formulate short and thoughtful messages. Ideally, you should keep them to a maximum of 20 words. And make sure that you at least attempt to spellcheck. It may not matter to you, but it might matter to her.
Ruining a perfectly good conversation because of sloppy writing is awful. Also, don’t expect an answer from all the people you send messages to. That will never happen, no matter how good the message is. Some people may not even visit their online profiles anymore.
13. Be interested
One area where you can never go wrong is showing that you are interested. And I do mean, showing. It’s not important how interested you are if you can’t make her feel that. As a strategy, your best bet will be to keep the conversation going and then address something she said at the beginning. Preferably with a funny remark that ties it in with your current topic. It will show that you are not only considerate and witty but also interested in more than her looks. Try to do the same when it comes to her hobbies and interests and you can be on your way to the first date.
14. Make a good selection
Don’t just write to everybody. It may seem like a good idea, but online dating is not like shooting fish in a barrel. You can’t expect to get replies from all the girls you write too. Trust me, you wouldn’t want that. Know your audience and address it. You are better off writing 10 good personalized messages to people you would actually want to have a date with. Even the best online dating tips will not be able to help you if you don't know what you want.
15. Don’t expect her to be like your ex
When it comes to dating apps you need to keep a clear mind. As I said people are diverse and that includes character traits. Your expectations can make or break your interaction with the girl you find yourself attracted to. And there is nothing you can do about that. What you can do, is not to compare any girl you like to one of your ex-girlfriends. No two people will think, act, and interact in the same way. And that includes the way they answer to online messages.
The world of online dating is all about fun and practicality. And that is why you need to waste as little time as possible on waiting for answers that will never come. Instead, use these tips to upgrade your game to the next level.
And don't forget to enjoy the wonderful world of dating for what it is, and not for what you wish it was.
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Loves to play with new ideas, binge writing, traveling and gourmet coffee. Professional writer of non fiction with over 8 years experience in putting words to paper. Fan of iconic movies, sports, The Arctic Monkeys and city breaks. Yes, he knows how good his coffee is.