A how-to guide for successful BDSM. Fetlife.com review
The KINK and BDSM revolution
You may have heard of BDSM because of the silly movies your significant other insisted that you watch together (50 shades of grey joke averted) or because pop culture insisted in rendering chains whips and latex garments ever more present.
While the letters stand for its three subcategories: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism, the one thing you should never forget is that BDSM is first and foremost about trust. Both partners need to be aware of their intentions and boundaries. The best way to describe it would be that it is a step by step process where partners get to know themselves and each other in search of their ultimate sexual fulfillment. Beware actual sex is not always included. Violent or abusive behavior is not on the menu. People that partner up for BDSM sets or scenes do so willingly and with complete assurance. They do so exploring their sexuality and channeling their sexual archetype using a wide array of kinks from general to specific ones.
So it pretty much differs from one couple to another to the extent that makes it a unique and highly specialized endeavor. That is why it is so damn hotter than you just slapping your girlfriends ass.
Luckily for us noobs, the good people at sexualalpha.com comprised a BDSM kink test that helps you discover your dominant sexual archetype. As all things in life you should take it with a pinch of salt but if none of your girlfriends have ever sent you this link so far, you should visit it in advance.
Once you have established your kinks you should have at least a ball park idea on what you would fancy exploring when it comes to great sex. Being that "into BDSM'' is not a common enough description among users of traditional dating apps, and that social hubs have a much higher level of communication (especially as a newbie) your best bet is to join a BDSM community.
Introducing Fetlife.com
Fetlife takes pride in being more than your average dating service. But what makes this social network so unique?
Well first of all Fetlife is the Social Network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky Community. The emphasis seems to be put on ''The'' and rightly so as it has almost 8 million members worldwide and things are looking up for the network that boasts to be ''Kink heaven''.
Of course like most other social network hubs it has a pretty easy, fast and comprehensive joining process. It took me less than 3 minutes to join and unlike some of its competitors you are spared the unnecessary barrage of questions and most of the boring authentication routines. But can it help you get the fine kinky girl of your dreams? After testing it for a few weeks I would venture to say yes. And here are some of the reasons why.
''Like Facebook, but run by kinksters like you and me.''
First of all they make it clear from the off that Fetlife.com is not your everyday social platform.
Yeah, yeah I know we all heard that the last time we set up a new account and got our hopes up only to discover bots, trolls and scammers. And yes no platform is free from their evil ways, but things are so very different here. Privacy is decent and you always get the feeling that this is a place reserved only for those who belong. You will get your fair share of sex workers, nude photography enthusiasts and subs for hire, but it doesn't even come close to some dating apps.
Easy to find partners
You will have no problem finding a BDSM partner on Fetlife.com
It has a great way to list your fetishes, curiosities and limits. This works like a refined search feature helping you to connect to people and groups that share your interests. You can choose from dozens of roles from Dominant to Sadist, Swinger or Rigger. And yes, some of the groups you can find here are really helpful and quick to engage in chatting.
And chat you will because Fetlife.com is free. No membership fee must be paid before you get to message somebody, no money owed for looking at profile pictures or more chances at a match. It's all up to you to make the magic happen.
Best of both worlds?
Fetlife.com is a social media platform and a dating site at the same time. The fact that it functions similarly to Facebook, has millions of accounts and you can add friends, create groups and even organize or attend events should give you a running start when it comes to finding your kinky partner. It is basically all you wanted in a dating app but could find only on a social network.
I would recommend you give it a well deserved try. Don't be a 3.6 roentgen type a guy.
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Loves to play with new ideas, binge writing, traveling and gourmet coffee. Professional writer of non fiction with over 8 years experience in putting words to paper. Fan of iconic movies, sports, The Arctic Monkeys and city breaks. Yes, he knows how good his coffee is.