Avengers Endgame: Spoiler free review
Mid 80’s and feces show that was Marvel was getting off the cracked toilet and, well, stumbling down onto its face and drowning on that morning’s high power breakfast; a screwdriver that was less drive and more screw.
I’m a throwback of a generation that had to deal with Dolph Lundgren dropping the ball on a New York accent and doing a bad Death Wish rip-off. I’m a genetical offspring of an Era where Hulk was nothing more than a Jersey Shore poster boy who had been bitten by radioactive kale and had a love affair with some scantily clad broccoli. Then, when that bandwagon had hit the brick wall and we thought it couldn’t get any yuckier, the drunken buffon started scarfing down its own vomit like a dog with parasites.
Yes, our eyes and hearts were submitted to watching Marty McFly's mom indulge in her Ornithophilia; the girl getting hot and heavy with a Mos Eisley reject known as Howard The Duck.
Not even George lucas could save Marvel from reenacting Janis Joplin's heroin soaked final night at the Landmark Hotel. The coroner waiting to drape a towel over Marvel’s cadaver.
Yup, Marvel had gone the way of the dodo. It had bills to pay and a hungry Hollywood willing to doll next to nothing for their still beating properties. A garage sale was held and Wolverine and Spider-Man were auctioned off like cheap trinkets.
I’m a throwback of a generation that had to deal with Dolph Lundgren dropping the ball on a New York accent and doing a bad Death Wish rip-off. I’m a genetical offspring of an Era where Hulk was nothing more than a Jersey Shore poster boy who had been bitten by radioactive kale and had a love affair with some scantily clad broccoli. Then, when that bandwagon had hit the brick wall and we thought it couldn’t get any yuckier, the drunken buffon started scarfing down its own vomit like a dog with parasites.
Yes, our eyes and hearts were submitted to watching Marty McFly's mom indulge in her Ornithophilia; the girl getting hot and heavy with a Mos Eisley reject known as Howard The Duck.
Not even George lucas could save Marvel from reenacting Janis Joplin's heroin soaked final night at the Landmark Hotel. The coroner waiting to drape a towel over Marvel’s cadaver.
Yup, Marvel had gone the way of the dodo. It had bills to pay and a hungry Hollywood willing to doll next to nothing for their still beating properties. A garage sale was held and Wolverine and Spider-Man were auctioned off like cheap trinkets.
“Cheer up, buddy, you still have the comics… Just don’t go overboard in the 90’s with the pockets and hulking breast sizes.”
20 years later, the execs at the House Of Ideas wanted to get back into the celluloid game. They dusted off their toy chest and went digging for what was left after the fire sale.
“Iron Man,” went and aficionado with a smorgasbord of castoffs and Norse Gods. “If we get a charismatic actor, I’m fairly sure we can make a buck or two. We just need a Tony Stark.”
“Explain…”
“Well, someone who can sell the part. Someone that can really get into the skin of an egomaniac, with substance abuse problems, with a penchant for womanizing, and a dodgy past.”
“Know the right fella… won’t even have to give him any acting cues.”
11 years later, a score of films and that grand experiment has proved so fruitful that when Mickey Mouse decided to finally make a run at world domination, his cabal simply said: “Buy Star Wars and Marvel… The rest will come, grand Overlord.”
And boy, was that Satanic sorority of sagely swindlers in the right.
“Oh grand rat, they’ll eat up anything… trust us.”
And they tried and succeeded.
“A movie about a talking Racoon and a Tree voiced by Vin Diesel blurting out three words… the second one the tree is a cute baby. Why? To sell toys.”
773,3 Million Dead Presidents!
“Oh, I know, let’s really gaslight them this time… About a guy that can transform really small… Let’s call it Ant-Man…”
519,3 Million bucks!
“A Lion King remake, where we use every cliche in the book concerning African Americans and their wishful thinking… and with a lot of mumbo jumbo about the dark continent...Go all out on the iconography… Finish with armored Rhinos… Nah, won't seem insensitive if we attach a renown director…”
1,344 Million and a Best Picture Nomination.
Meanwhile, this side of the aisle:
“Just take our money and shut up… Yes, yes, yes, praise our Overlord Mickey… Fine I’ll say whatever you want in backwards Latin... When is the new Avengers coming out?”
Was it worth it?
The short answer is… HELL YES!
I’ve just come tumbling out of Avengers: Endgame like a fish out of water. Glassy-eyed, struggling to breathe, and wondering what that light at the end of the tunnel was all about. From the moment it goes off your pupils will bulge out and turn into huge saucers mesmerized by the barrage of movie…
“TOO MUCH MOVIE!!!”
It’s not an exaggeration to say you're glued to the seat as soon as the movie gets running, and it gets its stride 1 minute in and doesn’t let go till’, like Usain Bolt, it passes the 3-hour mark and wins the marathon. I’m not whistling Dixie when I say that this might very well be the epic cinematographically event of the decade.
It is a demolishing experience. I won't go into the details. I won't dissect what happens because part of this movie’s power is the fact that it has managed to keep so much of itself behind a closed curtain. If Infinity War was a bit predictable due to the sheer amount of video clips, expectations, and trailers, Endgame is a mystery novel with a two sentence back cover that reads: “You’ll love it. It’s really good.”
It’s impossible to come out of this film emotionally fine. If you’ve invested just a smidgen of yourself into these characters you’re in for a roller coaster of sentimental dips and high octane heart stumping breaks. Around me audience members were cheering like girls at a teen band’s concert, laughing like loons right out an asylum, and crying like they had either just gotten married or their dog was hit by a train.
Everyone in the cast is at their peak and their A-Game. No one felt misused or tossed into the shadows as a background player, but nonetheless, the core of the praises goes to the original Avengers, the holy trinity of Cap, Thor, and Iron Man, as well as their sidekicks Hawkeye, Black Widow, and Hulk. In a way, it’s a movie about them and their feats… Of finally living up the team’s name.
Overall, this is a movie that rewards your knowledge of the MCU in its entirety.
This movie is fan service done right. There’s little that can be said about the film without at least alluding to its twists, but what I can say, with certainty, is that Avengers: Endgame is a marvel, both in terms of narrative scale and sheer logistical ambition. It seems like a movie made by fans for fans. It’s a movie that finally puts into action all that arcane tidbits you managed to squire away about every MCU movie so far.
Markus and McFeely’s script concedes for some surprising subversions of individual heroes.
It is a film about loss. A film about how to deal with defeat and somehow get up in the morning and keep on ticking. A film, that true to the Russo’s fascination, hangs its heart and scope on the MVP’s axiom; Captain America’s doggedness to take a hit and keep on licking.
At its core, it is a film about what the MCU has always been about… ITS HEROES.
Where Infinity War was a movie about Thanos, so much to the point that most of the movie’s running time and its narrative vein was devoted to this character, Endgame is a film about the Avengers. In Infinity War they were reacting and retreating from Thanos’ actions; they were all over the place, falling over their own feet and trying to cope with a threat that was beyond them. In Endgame the tables have turned, and the scrappy cortier of survivors is finally going on the offensive.
Does it suffer from an overabundance of CGI?… Yup. Are the fight scenes and action pieces nothing more than a pixel on pixel slap fest?... It’s Marvel, that’s a given. Still, leveling and balancing that criticism against the scope of the film and what it sets out to do and actually accomplish, you end up feeling a bit petty and snarky.
Avengers: Endgame is undoubtedly the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s most energetic, passionate, and moving film to date. It somehow manages to box up with a perfect bow more than a decade of storytelling in a bold satisfying climax.
user rating :
5.00 stars (4 votes)
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