7 types of women that will definitely break your heart
It's a jungle out there! No matter how you look at it, there's no denying that the dating world is a mine-field.
From the clumsy social fumblings of your first teen crush to the complexities of dating in the adult world, the path towards meeting your perfect match, your one-and-only, is fraught with dangers.
In this jungle of love, there are many exotic creatures that may lure you into their lair. Some are benign, simply wasting your time on the journey of love. Some are a little more dangerous, predatory dates that could leave you with shattered confidence and months, if not years, of emotional recovery. Needless to say, dating is also an expensive game and understanding how to avoid the common dangers is also a deeply pragmatic move, as it is a means to saving potentially thousands of wasted dollars. Instead, it would be much better if you could invest your money wisely on honest dates with true potential.
As with any adventure into the wilderness, it can be handy to have a field guide, a means to differentiate the sweet-smelling fauna from the damp and dark fungi that is ready and waiting to feast on your emotional remains.
With that in mind, we've put together a list of the seven most dangerous creatures you'll find on your journey;
7 types of women that will definitely break your heart.
1. The cheater
One of the most dangerous and harder to spot creatures in the dating jungle is The Cheater.
She's the kind of woman that, on the surface, appears perfect. She's beautiful, charming, and surprisingly skilled in the bedroom. It almost makes you wonder how she's become so good at what she does!
Unfortunately, short of telepathic abilities, the cheater is a heart-breaker and one that is impossible to entirely avoid. While many cheaters are clumsy, easily slipping up and revealing their true selves (although by that time it's often too late!), the more experienced cheaters will have years of experience in covering their tracks.
That said, there are many handy signs that can give the game away.
The biggest weakness in the cheater's armor is their double-edged self-awareness. Put simply, a cheater knows what she is capable of and this self-knowledge often projects itself as paranoia.
Be wary of women who seem excessively paranoid about your ability to cheat. Sure, in many cases you may be dealing with someone who has been a victim of a cheater themselves, but often it is a sign that the woman you're dealing with is projecting her own flaws onto you. As they say, a clear conscience is a soft pillow, in the case of the cheater, the reverse is true.
Other more obvious signs include an overly sensitive need for privacy; she'll never leave her phone unattended, calls with "girlfriends" will be taken in another room, and you'll notice strange gaps in your understanding of her private life—something that in quality relationships is never the case.
However, be careful and don't become too paranoid that you're involved with a cheater. Nothing turns women off more than insecurity. Indeed, if you let your fear of cheaters overwhelm you, you may find that you'll create the very monster you fear. Stay confident, calm, observant, and be ready to walk away when the signs look bad.
2. The Gold Digger
If you've never heard the word "hypergamy" then it's time to dust off your dictionary. Google defines hypergamy as "the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class". In practical terms, it's one of nature's oldest tricks, the instinct for females to seek out high-status and materially wealthy males.
It's not a bad thing as it's one of the most successful reproductive tactics in nature's arsenal. At its most primal, females are essentially hunting an effective provider for any future offspring and aiming high is a great strategy. Since the dawn of time, this female instinct has pushed men to improve themselves and succeed.
However, just as fangs can equally be used to chew food or to inflict deadly damage, our psychological evolutionary heritage can also be abused.
Gold diggers take hypergamy to the next level. They're women who have become completely overwhelmed by the urge for material wealth and have lost sight of why it's important. To them, you're little more than a walking ATM. If you're looking for someone who loves you for you, avoid gold diggers!
Luckily, they're easy to spot. Their Instagram timeline will be brimming with photos of expensive resorts, fancy meals, and high-end products. In-person they'll behave as if they've stepped out of a Victorian novel, using your manners and chivalry as a tool to wedge your wallet firmly open.
Of course, it's always gentlemanly to be willing to pay, hypergamy is a real part of the male-female dynamic. However, if the woman you’re with sees you as nothing more than a free human bank, walk away. Generosity within reason is charming, being a doormat isn't.
3. The one who is still talking to her ex-boyfriend
Have you ever sat on a chair that still feels warm to the touch?
It's a strange feeling, isn't it? It's both comfy and disturbing at the same time.
You'll experience this very same feeling with women who are still in contact with their ex-boyfriend.
You'll feel instantly at home, it's as if this woman is born to be in a relationship. She knows just what to say and she makes you feel like you've been together for years. The problem is you're just a substitute; the rebound guy. The reason she's so good at being in a relationship is that she never stopped! She jumped straight from him to you.
Women who are still talking to their ex-boyfriend will often maintain feelings for them. Essentially you're sitting on a time-bomb; you're just one argument away from her running back into his arms.
If you want to be her one and only, it's best if she's not still fanning the flames of an old relationship.
Of course, many people stay friends with their ex-partners, and sometimes that's a sign of a very adult and healthy approach to life.
Once again, don't be paranoid, just sensibly establish the kind of relationship your partner has with an ex. It's not about avoiding women who are in contact with old boyfriends, that's just insecure and childish. Instead, it's about the quantity and quality of that relationship that matters.
Are you dealing with someone who values their past or is still living in it?
4. The one with commitment issues
On the first date, she'll tell you how she never has any luck with men; then she'll reel off a list as long as her arm of her failed relationships.
Oddly, you'll discover that she was never to blame, it was always the other at fault. Ask yourself, do you want to be the next on the list?
Women with commitment issues are easy to spot and best avoided. Often they'll be flakey from the start; you'll arrange a date, she'll call to cancel and rearrange at the last moment. This will happen again and again.
If by magic you get past this and manage to establish a relationship, she'll never seem fully engaged. She'll avoid meeting your friends and family, her personal life won't adapt to fit the relationship, she'll stay constantly distant and aloof.
It's pretty simple, she's just not that into you. Save yourself the heartache and work with a "three strikes and she's out" rule. Don't tolerate flakiness.
5. The one that Never Compliments
Have you ever seen Stephen King's Misery?
It's the story of an obsessive woman, a nurse, who finds an injured man and nurses him back to health. Only, she doesn't.
Instead, under the guise of helping him recover, she keeps him weak and bedridden through a horrifying series of poisonings and physical injuries.
Why did she do this?
She wanted to keep him weak and all to herself.
Women who never compliment you are doing much the same. It's a strategy to lower your self-esteem, to keep you downtrodden and feeling grateful for her. After all, if you're so useless and unlovable, you're lucky to have her!
In the worst-case scenario, not only will she withhold compliments but will actively criticize and demean you.
There are two reasons for this behavior.
1) She simply feels like she's settled for you and resents you for it.
2) She's deeply insecure and feels you're "out of her league".
Either scenario is incredibly unhealthy and best avoided.
Love and affection crave to be shared and compliments are their vehicle. A lack of them is a red flag that is worth noticing.
6. The one who previously dated your friend
I want you to imagine passionately kissing your friend. Now imagine slowly unzipping his trousers and...
No, let's not do that, it's a horrible thought, isn't it?
Well, if you want to live with a thousand thoughts like this, day after day, then a great way to achieve this is to date a woman who has previously dated your friend.
Enough said.
Unfortunately, from her perspective, you are most likely just a desperate means to maintain a connection to her previous relationship with your friend. She's dating him by proxy.
It's not healthy.
Of course, there are always exceptions to rules. If she's genuinely wonderful and the previous relationship was fleeting, you'll have a fighting chance. However, if she dated your friend for more than 6 months, it's better to look elsewhere.
7. The collector
The collector is a modern-day phenomenon. With the rise of dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble, it has never been easier for lonely or insecure women to contact vast numbers of interested men.
The collector is a girl hooked on the dopamine boosting properties of attention-on-demand. Consider her a Tinder junkie on an ego trip!
It's always wise for singles to keep their options open, but the collector has her options so wide open that she's become a black hole—an event horizon from which an army of men will never escape!
When a girl is spinning this many plates, you'll never get her full attention and sooner or later it's all going to come crashing down. She's a woman so overwhelmed with choice and addicted to hypergamy that she'll never be able to pick a mate.
With great multi-tasking skills, the collector will be chatting with large numbers of men at once, with each man thinking he's the lone center of her attention.
As an attention vampire, she's desperate for her fix of adoration, and if you're not available to chat, she'll have Tom, Dick, and Harry lined up and ready to go.
Collectors can be very charming, after all, they've honed their skills through practice. So, she'll certainly make you feel like you're the only man in the world. Newsflash: you're not.
Collectors rarely meet for dates. When they do commit to a meeting they'll often flake out at the last minute.
You'll also spot collectors by their inclusion of Instagram accounts in their dating profiles—it's another way to get that all-important attention. If you take the time to look over her Instagram account, you'll see her followers are an army of desperate guys.
Don't become one of them!
Final thoughts
With a little thought and care you can avoid these pitfalls of the dating jungle. Remember, these guidelines are not designed to induce fear or paranoia regarding dating, simply to keep you safe, sensible, and observant.
Most importantly, if you can maintain a calm, confident, and independent approach to dating—putting logic before emotions or instincts, you should find you can avoid those who feed on the weaknesses of the male psyche.
Consider the dating game a chance to improve and understand yourself, to hone your social skills, your powers of empathy, and observation.
Dating is a chance to grow to become a more wise and worldly man.
Don't be in a rush to meet Miss Right, because doing so will blind you to the bigger picture—that you need to become Mr Right before you'll meet her.
As you mature and grow you'll find that like attracts like and you'll naturally become a beacon to women of high calibre.
From the clumsy social fumblings of your first teen crush to the complexities of dating in the adult world, the path towards meeting your perfect match, your one-and-only, is fraught with dangers.
In this jungle of love, there are many exotic creatures that may lure you into their lair. Some are benign, simply wasting your time on the journey of love. Some are a little more dangerous, predatory dates that could leave you with shattered confidence and months, if not years, of emotional recovery. Needless to say, dating is also an expensive game and understanding how to avoid the common dangers is also a deeply pragmatic move, as it is a means to saving potentially thousands of wasted dollars. Instead, it would be much better if you could invest your money wisely on honest dates with true potential.
As with any adventure into the wilderness, it can be handy to have a field guide, a means to differentiate the sweet-smelling fauna from the damp and dark fungi that is ready and waiting to feast on your emotional remains.
With that in mind, we've put together a list of the seven most dangerous creatures you'll find on your journey;
7 types of women that will definitely break your heart.
1. The cheater
One of the most dangerous and harder to spot creatures in the dating jungle is The Cheater.
She's the kind of woman that, on the surface, appears perfect. She's beautiful, charming, and surprisingly skilled in the bedroom. It almost makes you wonder how she's become so good at what she does!
Unfortunately, short of telepathic abilities, the cheater is a heart-breaker and one that is impossible to entirely avoid. While many cheaters are clumsy, easily slipping up and revealing their true selves (although by that time it's often too late!), the more experienced cheaters will have years of experience in covering their tracks.
That said, there are many handy signs that can give the game away.
The biggest weakness in the cheater's armor is their double-edged self-awareness. Put simply, a cheater knows what she is capable of and this self-knowledge often projects itself as paranoia.
Be wary of women who seem excessively paranoid about your ability to cheat. Sure, in many cases you may be dealing with someone who has been a victim of a cheater themselves, but often it is a sign that the woman you're dealing with is projecting her own flaws onto you. As they say, a clear conscience is a soft pillow, in the case of the cheater, the reverse is true.
Other more obvious signs include an overly sensitive need for privacy; she'll never leave her phone unattended, calls with "girlfriends" will be taken in another room, and you'll notice strange gaps in your understanding of her private life—something that in quality relationships is never the case.
However, be careful and don't become too paranoid that you're involved with a cheater. Nothing turns women off more than insecurity. Indeed, if you let your fear of cheaters overwhelm you, you may find that you'll create the very monster you fear. Stay confident, calm, observant, and be ready to walk away when the signs look bad.
2. The Gold Digger
If you've never heard the word "hypergamy" then it's time to dust off your dictionary. Google defines hypergamy as "the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class". In practical terms, it's one of nature's oldest tricks, the instinct for females to seek out high-status and materially wealthy males.
It's not a bad thing as it's one of the most successful reproductive tactics in nature's arsenal. At its most primal, females are essentially hunting an effective provider for any future offspring and aiming high is a great strategy. Since the dawn of time, this female instinct has pushed men to improve themselves and succeed.
However, just as fangs can equally be used to chew food or to inflict deadly damage, our psychological evolutionary heritage can also be abused.
Gold diggers take hypergamy to the next level. They're women who have become completely overwhelmed by the urge for material wealth and have lost sight of why it's important. To them, you're little more than a walking ATM. If you're looking for someone who loves you for you, avoid gold diggers!
Luckily, they're easy to spot. Their Instagram timeline will be brimming with photos of expensive resorts, fancy meals, and high-end products. In-person they'll behave as if they've stepped out of a Victorian novel, using your manners and chivalry as a tool to wedge your wallet firmly open.
Of course, it's always gentlemanly to be willing to pay, hypergamy is a real part of the male-female dynamic. However, if the woman you’re with sees you as nothing more than a free human bank, walk away. Generosity within reason is charming, being a doormat isn't.
3. The one who is still talking to her ex-boyfriend
Have you ever sat on a chair that still feels warm to the touch?
It's a strange feeling, isn't it? It's both comfy and disturbing at the same time.
You'll experience this very same feeling with women who are still in contact with their ex-boyfriend.
You'll feel instantly at home, it's as if this woman is born to be in a relationship. She knows just what to say and she makes you feel like you've been together for years. The problem is you're just a substitute; the rebound guy. The reason she's so good at being in a relationship is that she never stopped! She jumped straight from him to you.
Women who are still talking to their ex-boyfriend will often maintain feelings for them. Essentially you're sitting on a time-bomb; you're just one argument away from her running back into his arms.
If you want to be her one and only, it's best if she's not still fanning the flames of an old relationship.
Of course, many people stay friends with their ex-partners, and sometimes that's a sign of a very adult and healthy approach to life.
Once again, don't be paranoid, just sensibly establish the kind of relationship your partner has with an ex. It's not about avoiding women who are in contact with old boyfriends, that's just insecure and childish. Instead, it's about the quantity and quality of that relationship that matters.
Are you dealing with someone who values their past or is still living in it?
4. The one with commitment issues
On the first date, she'll tell you how she never has any luck with men; then she'll reel off a list as long as her arm of her failed relationships.
Oddly, you'll discover that she was never to blame, it was always the other at fault. Ask yourself, do you want to be the next on the list?
Women with commitment issues are easy to spot and best avoided. Often they'll be flakey from the start; you'll arrange a date, she'll call to cancel and rearrange at the last moment. This will happen again and again.
If by magic you get past this and manage to establish a relationship, she'll never seem fully engaged. She'll avoid meeting your friends and family, her personal life won't adapt to fit the relationship, she'll stay constantly distant and aloof.
It's pretty simple, she's just not that into you. Save yourself the heartache and work with a "three strikes and she's out" rule. Don't tolerate flakiness.
5. The one that Never Compliments
Have you ever seen Stephen King's Misery?
It's the story of an obsessive woman, a nurse, who finds an injured man and nurses him back to health. Only, she doesn't.
Instead, under the guise of helping him recover, she keeps him weak and bedridden through a horrifying series of poisonings and physical injuries.
Why did she do this?
She wanted to keep him weak and all to herself.
Women who never compliment you are doing much the same. It's a strategy to lower your self-esteem, to keep you downtrodden and feeling grateful for her. After all, if you're so useless and unlovable, you're lucky to have her!
In the worst-case scenario, not only will she withhold compliments but will actively criticize and demean you.
There are two reasons for this behavior.
1) She simply feels like she's settled for you and resents you for it.
2) She's deeply insecure and feels you're "out of her league".
Either scenario is incredibly unhealthy and best avoided.
Love and affection crave to be shared and compliments are their vehicle. A lack of them is a red flag that is worth noticing.
6. The one who previously dated your friend
I want you to imagine passionately kissing your friend. Now imagine slowly unzipping his trousers and...
No, let's not do that, it's a horrible thought, isn't it?
Well, if you want to live with a thousand thoughts like this, day after day, then a great way to achieve this is to date a woman who has previously dated your friend.
Enough said.
Unfortunately, from her perspective, you are most likely just a desperate means to maintain a connection to her previous relationship with your friend. She's dating him by proxy.
It's not healthy.
Of course, there are always exceptions to rules. If she's genuinely wonderful and the previous relationship was fleeting, you'll have a fighting chance. However, if she dated your friend for more than 6 months, it's better to look elsewhere.
7. The collector
The collector is a modern-day phenomenon. With the rise of dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble, it has never been easier for lonely or insecure women to contact vast numbers of interested men.
The collector is a girl hooked on the dopamine boosting properties of attention-on-demand. Consider her a Tinder junkie on an ego trip!
It's always wise for singles to keep their options open, but the collector has her options so wide open that she's become a black hole—an event horizon from which an army of men will never escape!
When a girl is spinning this many plates, you'll never get her full attention and sooner or later it's all going to come crashing down. She's a woman so overwhelmed with choice and addicted to hypergamy that she'll never be able to pick a mate.
With great multi-tasking skills, the collector will be chatting with large numbers of men at once, with each man thinking he's the lone center of her attention.
As an attention vampire, she's desperate for her fix of adoration, and if you're not available to chat, she'll have Tom, Dick, and Harry lined up and ready to go.
Collectors can be very charming, after all, they've honed their skills through practice. So, she'll certainly make you feel like you're the only man in the world. Newsflash: you're not.
Collectors rarely meet for dates. When they do commit to a meeting they'll often flake out at the last minute.
You'll also spot collectors by their inclusion of Instagram accounts in their dating profiles—it's another way to get that all-important attention. If you take the time to look over her Instagram account, you'll see her followers are an army of desperate guys.
Don't become one of them!
Final thoughts
With a little thought and care you can avoid these pitfalls of the dating jungle. Remember, these guidelines are not designed to induce fear or paranoia regarding dating, simply to keep you safe, sensible, and observant.
Most importantly, if you can maintain a calm, confident, and independent approach to dating—putting logic before emotions or instincts, you should find you can avoid those who feed on the weaknesses of the male psyche.
Consider the dating game a chance to improve and understand yourself, to hone your social skills, your powers of empathy, and observation.
Dating is a chance to grow to become a more wise and worldly man.
Don't be in a rush to meet Miss Right, because doing so will blind you to the bigger picture—that you need to become Mr Right before you'll meet her.
As you mature and grow you'll find that like attracts like and you'll naturally become a beacon to women of high calibre.
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Dream specialist and psychological researcher. I'm the author of best-selling lucid dreaming guidebook, "Are You Dreaming?". I also work as a sleep science consultant and dabble in YouTube. It's my passion to share the subtleties, science, and psychology of the human experience. I also have a soft spot for dogs in hats.