5 reasons to stop using Dating Apps IN THE USA - The untold secrets revealed
Dating for men has changed with the speed of technology. Some have come to embrace this change, others to accept them while the rest just refuse to join the fray. All those things are common to any change. But what is unique to the changes in the dating world is that few things are more personal than dating. The dating world has gone from meeting people in an everyday situation to a never-ending tsunami of possible matches, crushes, and swipes across multiple platforms.
If five years ago people were just discovering apps, today you can hardly find singles that only have one dating app account. And this multi-account, cross-platform phase is the one that will lower your chances of getting the match you want.
But have things changed so much? Are dating platforms getting better or worst? And what are the reasons to stop using dating apps in the USA?
We’e going to give you the answers to that and much more, but first let’s take a look at what dating for men will be like come 2020.
Dating is incremental to manliness. It comes as natural as a super hero’s survival instinct. So we are going to take this as a given and not go into all the biological, social and psychological motivations. But like any iconic man you need to inspire and be inspired by women. And let’s face it, finding that special girl that can put up with you shouldn’t be a bother to you either. Dating apps have made dating easier, faster and less exclusive. Some hailed them as the universal solution to finding a partner, others have marked their arrival as the dating apocalypse. In truth, dating apps have done little to change the things that bring us joy in a date.
There are some incremental flaws of dating apps that you can’t do anything about. These are the flaws that people invoke the most when asked why they don't like dating apps. No, there is no hidden hand that directs the best looking women into liking somebody else. These flaws have to do with human nature and you can either learn to live with them or give up online dating altogether.
At the end of the day, any dating app is a social platform. With all the expensive marketing and targeted goals, dating apps are the very definition of a social network. Do you remember the exact moment when people started migrating from Facebook to Instagram?
Well, Mark Zuckerberg remembers. That’s why he bought Instagram. The current phenomenon is that people that have migrated to Instagram have now found that advertising their accounts over Tinder, or other dating apps brings a lot of karma. You might say that it's not the worst thing in the world but making a dating profile so you can advertise your other social media accounts is just wrong.
And there are more and more of them every day. With the increase in accounts and the change in people’s motivation to create one, dating apps are in danger of losing their original target and slide ever closer to selective social networking for people over 18.
Most dating sites and apps have more men than women, which means the most attractive women get flooded with messages. They don’t have time to talk to everyone, so they are forced to make split-second decisions regarding who’s worthy of their time. That makes the competition fierce but to be honest the competition is the least of your concerns.
As you may have noticed from your swiping ritual, most people that use dating apps are in search of someone better than their current, or former, partner so chances are everybody is aiming a bit too high, statistically speaking. You have thousands of options, especially if you live in a big city. And that is true for all users. The fact that the offers are so great, makes you pass on opportunities and fall prey to the endless offers effect.
That is how you end up in a hamster wheel of swiping in search of better and better options. Yes, in case the thought crossed your mind, this can become addictive, in the same way that slot machines make gamblers addicted to the possibility of winning the jackpot.
How does a man beat the algorithm and find the perfect match?
Well, it all depends on what you are looking for. No matter the case, the thing that will give you the most chances is to take dating apps as they are. Like a game. If you want to continue using dating apps, you must play within the rules of the game. One in which your attitude matters the most.
Be positive, funny, relaxed and above all don’t take yourself too seriously. And that will help you more than you realize. Firstly, it will make you realize that women using dating apps are not algorithms and often look for the same things men do. And secondly, it will help you transport that positive attitude in real life. Because, you know, dates actually happen in real life.
Algorithms will work better on vacations and especially abroad. Seeing that they are based on a bunch of data regarding your habits that are collected over time. You will have a better chance for a good match if you change the parameters that determine these algorithms from time to time. Using dating apps abroad is just one of the changes that can help your profile and your dating life.
In the end, your safest bet is to try finding a date offline. No algorithm prevents you from asking out your real-life crush. But you may miss that opportunity if you are content to bury yourself online.
This one is pretty easy. It is the number one drawback people are talking about when they mention dating apps. But there is more to that than you might imagine. Why would you care that people are signing up for shallow reasons? Who determines what is shallow and what is not?
What both men and women don't realize is that shallowness is just a symptom. The root of the problem is that many of the people who simply browse, or window shop, on dating apps, are married or in a relationship. According to research by The Web Global Index, 30% of Tinder users are married. At the same time, about 80% of tinder users say that they prefer a serious relationship over a hook-up. Even if you never liked mathematics, you can easily see why there will be a lot of disappointment, ghosting, and a lot of people that are just looking to be validated. And yes, there is something nice about women writing or responding to your messages, but in most cases, all these small skirmishes lead to nothing at all.
So the biggest scourge dating apps face in the USA, and indeed the world, is not that people look for validation, but that in doing so they are getting in the way of those that actually want to go out on dates or hook up. You will never know if the nice girl that did not show up for your date ghosted you because she was a validation junkie, or because of something you did.
And it’s not just women. Everybody does it. In the end, you may find that abstaining from using online dating apps will help you feel more confident and more balanced than 20 compliments a day from people that are just looking for one back.
If you already tried both online and offline forms of dating you are acutely aware that both start with a first date.This may sound subjective, but that first date has a better chance of going well if you guys don't start off online. You might be wondering if this is not some sort of trick to convince people that the old way is the better way.
But it isn’t. Think about it. Unless you manage to convince her to get together, in the first minutes of your online connection, you will start talking about...the things you would usually talk on a date. And, no matter what people tell you that will steal some of your thunder. The longer the talk the bigger the chance, that when you finally meet up things will not be as sparkly in real life. The risk that your first date will look like a joke that has been built up way too much is real. That doesn’t mean that all online interactions are just ways of setting you up for disaster.
It just means that you have a better chance of a spontaneous and deep connection if both of you arrive with much less information to go on. Dating app messages leave too much to the imagination. Usually, the more you find out about someone, through messages alone, the more unrealistic expectations you tend to have.
For men, the great game represented by online apps is both discouraging and inspiring. It can make you feel like you are part of the largest experiment ever conducted on a species, or it can inspire you to bring out the best version of yourself. What you need to remember is that dating and dating apps are not synonymous. And no matter what people would have you think, you need to take the best course of action for you.
In the end, dating apps have only been around for about a decade. People have wanted to be happy and successful for much longer than that, so perhaps it’s time to set foot back into the real world.
If five years ago people were just discovering apps, today you can hardly find singles that only have one dating app account. And this multi-account, cross-platform phase is the one that will lower your chances of getting the match you want.
But have things changed so much? Are dating platforms getting better or worst? And what are the reasons to stop using dating apps in the USA?
We’e going to give you the answers to that and much more, but first let’s take a look at what dating for men will be like come 2020.
Dating is incremental to manliness. It comes as natural as a super hero’s survival instinct. So we are going to take this as a given and not go into all the biological, social and psychological motivations. But like any iconic man you need to inspire and be inspired by women. And let’s face it, finding that special girl that can put up with you shouldn’t be a bother to you either. Dating apps have made dating easier, faster and less exclusive. Some hailed them as the universal solution to finding a partner, others have marked their arrival as the dating apocalypse. In truth, dating apps have done little to change the things that bring us joy in a date.
There are some incremental flaws of dating apps that you can’t do anything about. These are the flaws that people invoke the most when asked why they don't like dating apps. No, there is no hidden hand that directs the best looking women into liking somebody else. These flaws have to do with human nature and you can either learn to live with them or give up online dating altogether.
1. Dating apps are turning into Facebook
At the end of the day, any dating app is a social platform. With all the expensive marketing and targeted goals, dating apps are the very definition of a social network. Do you remember the exact moment when people started migrating from Facebook to Instagram?
Well, Mark Zuckerberg remembers. That’s why he bought Instagram. The current phenomenon is that people that have migrated to Instagram have now found that advertising their accounts over Tinder, or other dating apps brings a lot of karma. You might say that it's not the worst thing in the world but making a dating profile so you can advertise your other social media accounts is just wrong.
And there are more and more of them every day. With the increase in accounts and the change in people’s motivation to create one, dating apps are in danger of losing their original target and slide ever closer to selective social networking for people over 18.
2. More men than women use dating apps
Most dating sites and apps have more men than women, which means the most attractive women get flooded with messages. They don’t have time to talk to everyone, so they are forced to make split-second decisions regarding who’s worthy of their time. That makes the competition fierce but to be honest the competition is the least of your concerns.
As you may have noticed from your swiping ritual, most people that use dating apps are in search of someone better than their current, or former, partner so chances are everybody is aiming a bit too high, statistically speaking. You have thousands of options, especially if you live in a big city. And that is true for all users. The fact that the offers are so great, makes you pass on opportunities and fall prey to the endless offers effect.
That is how you end up in a hamster wheel of swiping in search of better and better options. Yes, in case the thought crossed your mind, this can become addictive, in the same way that slot machines make gamblers addicted to the possibility of winning the jackpot.
3. How not to date the odds
How does a man beat the algorithm and find the perfect match?
Well, it all depends on what you are looking for. No matter the case, the thing that will give you the most chances is to take dating apps as they are. Like a game. If you want to continue using dating apps, you must play within the rules of the game. One in which your attitude matters the most.
Be positive, funny, relaxed and above all don’t take yourself too seriously. And that will help you more than you realize. Firstly, it will make you realize that women using dating apps are not algorithms and often look for the same things men do. And secondly, it will help you transport that positive attitude in real life. Because, you know, dates actually happen in real life.
Algorithms will work better on vacations and especially abroad. Seeing that they are based on a bunch of data regarding your habits that are collected over time. You will have a better chance for a good match if you change the parameters that determine these algorithms from time to time. Using dating apps abroad is just one of the changes that can help your profile and your dating life.
In the end, your safest bet is to try finding a date offline. No algorithm prevents you from asking out your real-life crush. But you may miss that opportunity if you are content to bury yourself online.
4. The truth behind dating apps and validation
This one is pretty easy. It is the number one drawback people are talking about when they mention dating apps. But there is more to that than you might imagine. Why would you care that people are signing up for shallow reasons? Who determines what is shallow and what is not?
What both men and women don't realize is that shallowness is just a symptom. The root of the problem is that many of the people who simply browse, or window shop, on dating apps, are married or in a relationship. According to research by The Web Global Index, 30% of Tinder users are married. At the same time, about 80% of tinder users say that they prefer a serious relationship over a hook-up. Even if you never liked mathematics, you can easily see why there will be a lot of disappointment, ghosting, and a lot of people that are just looking to be validated. And yes, there is something nice about women writing or responding to your messages, but in most cases, all these small skirmishes lead to nothing at all.
So the biggest scourge dating apps face in the USA, and indeed the world, is not that people look for validation, but that in doing so they are getting in the way of those that actually want to go out on dates or hook up. You will never know if the nice girl that did not show up for your date ghosted you because she was a validation junkie, or because of something you did.
And it’s not just women. Everybody does it. In the end, you may find that abstaining from using online dating apps will help you feel more confident and more balanced than 20 compliments a day from people that are just looking for one back.
5. It kills the spark
If you already tried both online and offline forms of dating you are acutely aware that both start with a first date.This may sound subjective, but that first date has a better chance of going well if you guys don't start off online. You might be wondering if this is not some sort of trick to convince people that the old way is the better way.
But it isn’t. Think about it. Unless you manage to convince her to get together, in the first minutes of your online connection, you will start talking about...the things you would usually talk on a date. And, no matter what people tell you that will steal some of your thunder. The longer the talk the bigger the chance, that when you finally meet up things will not be as sparkly in real life. The risk that your first date will look like a joke that has been built up way too much is real. That doesn’t mean that all online interactions are just ways of setting you up for disaster.
It just means that you have a better chance of a spontaneous and deep connection if both of you arrive with much less information to go on. Dating app messages leave too much to the imagination. Usually, the more you find out about someone, through messages alone, the more unrealistic expectations you tend to have.
For men, the great game represented by online apps is both discouraging and inspiring. It can make you feel like you are part of the largest experiment ever conducted on a species, or it can inspire you to bring out the best version of yourself. What you need to remember is that dating and dating apps are not synonymous. And no matter what people would have you think, you need to take the best course of action for you.
In the end, dating apps have only been around for about a decade. People have wanted to be happy and successful for much longer than that, so perhaps it’s time to set foot back into the real world.
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Loves to play with new ideas, binge writing, traveling and gourmet coffee. Professional writer of non fiction with over 8 years experience in putting words to paper. Fan of iconic movies, sports, The Arctic Monkeys and city breaks. Yes, he knows how good his coffee is.